Consider opposites: One of the ways I try to discover how to help a marriage is to sometimes consider the opposite approach - how I would go about ruining a marriage. One of the quickest ways would be to get the man feeling that he was unappreciated and the woman feeling that she was unloved. If I could just get one of those happening, the marriage would be in trouble. If I could get both of those happening, it would just be a matter of time without the right kind of help.

Remember 13: If you have a teenager, or a younger child, you need to see the movie "Thirteen." "Thirteen" captures well that time in the life of a teen when they are willing to trade heart and soul and anything else in order to have the glorious feeling of fitting in. Many parents either never experienced that need or have forgotten what it is like. While the movie certainly earns its R rating, you owe it to yourself to see what your teen is up against everyday.

Stress schedule: It's been said that we can handle almost any amount of stress as long as we get an equal or greater amount of time to recuperate. The problem is we barely get through one stressful event before we have to face the next one. The result is you have to schedule recuperation time, and then protect it as if your life and health depend on it. They do.

Heart to heart: If I were to give you the bottom line for what marriage is about, it would be this: Marriage is about the heart - what is in yours and how well you take care of the other person's.

Boob tube: Spending time watching TV is not a family activity if it's the only family activity you do. If all you do as a family is stare at a screen together, you are not making the connection you may think you are making.

Bite-size pieces: One of the biggest sources of stress in our lives is trying to do too much at once. To manage this kind of stress, break things down into smaller, more manageable pieces. For example, we all know the alphabet. No big deal right? But consider that the alphabet is 26 separate pieces of information that we have to remember, and in a very specific order to boot. Perhaps it has something to do with that song. If you know the alphabet, you can turn it into words, sentences, paragraphs, etc. All from breaking things down into manageable pieces.

Jeff Herring

Jeff is a marriage and family therapist, singles and relationship coach, mentor coach, speaker, syndicated relationship columnist and author.

Jeff has a full time private practice in Tallahassee in which he specializes in couples, teen and parent counseling. He also is a relationship coach specializing in working with couples and singles. Some of his professional activities include:

==> Internationally syndicated relationship columnist through Knight-Ridder/Tribune Media Services, with a weekly readership of over 10 million worldwide

==> Sought after speaker for organizations, associations, churches, and corporations

==>Twice weekly appearances on The Steve and Sara Show on Magic 107.1

==> Author of "Keep the Changes: 52 Tools for Successful Living" a collection of his best columns, as well as several e-books including "How to Create a Passionate and Loving Relationship.........Forever," "How to Beat the BOZOs: Dealing with difficult people without becoming one," and "Tame Your Teen: THE survival guide for parenting your teenager.

==> Founder and CEO of TheArticleGuy.com

==> Founder and CEO of SecretsofGreatRelationships.com

==> Founder and CEO of ParentingYourTeeanger.com

==> Founder and CEO of ToolsforSuccessfulLiving.com

==> President of BuildingYourIdealPractice.com

==> President of ConsciousDatingTallahassee.com