So you are the parent of an only child and you are feeling pressure to have another child. Oh! You have heard those stories about how only children are spoiled, lonely, socially inept, and will never get along with their peers. Let's look at some of the statistics and rationalize a bit to determine the truth about raising only children. Did you know that only children are increasing in America? That's right, in America today there are over 14 million only children. That is a number that has doubled over the past fifty years. That means that you are not alone. Twenty-eight million parents have decided that having an only child is right for their family. Let's take a closer look at the prior accusations of the only child. LONELY Yes, we live in a world of over 6,526,083,523 people, 299,126,973 of which live in the United States, and we worry about raising a lonely child. It is rediculous. In the 1950's, when many of the myths of raising an only child were created, children were not exposed to life as they are today. There was no such thing as kindergarten or pre-schools. Shame on those grandparents who try to persuade us that we need to have more children. SPOILED Are you really worried about raising a spoiled child? What exactly is a spoiled child? Many people think a child is spoiled because they expect to get everything they want. While we all agree that that would be a problem, the bigger problem is not whether or not they always get their way. The BIG problem is how they react when they do not get what they want. If they are throwing a tantrum, we have a problem. Whether it is an only child, the baby or the middle child, we as parents must teach our children that they do not always get their way. We must teach all of our children how to share and how to react when we do not get our own way. SOCIALLY INEPT Many will tell you that an only child does not get along with their peers. They will tell you that they get along great with older people and people that are younger than they are. Personally, getting along with two out of three groups of people seems pretty good to me. The only child may have to work a little harder when interacting with peers. The only child will seem almost gifted when interacting with young children and you will be amazed at how well they get along with their teachers and other adults. Keep in mind... most of life's problems are only a problem if YOU perceive them as a problem. Personally, I would not put any pressure on children to interact with their peers. Give your only child opportunities to interact with their peers at an early age. Children will determine who they want to interact with completely on their own. The reason many only children have difficulty getting along with their peers is because the only child is usually more mature. Eventually this problem will take care of itself. RAISING THE ONLY CHILD Raising the only child will be one of the most rewarding opportunities in your life. It is important that you do not let society determine the number of children that you have. Raise your only child just like we raise every child, as a unique individual that needs to be taught the important values in life. If it is important to you that your child is a caring, social, giving human being then teach them how to be one and do not forget that the best way to teach is by example. |
