Remember all the fairy tales we heard and read as children?

While most of them had good moral lessons to teach, they were still fairy tales. Yet we handle so many of our relationships, especially love relationships, as if we believe the fairy tales are real.

The Fairy Tale Trap for Singles

We expect our perfect ideal partner to just magically show up someday, without any effort on our part. As in "Some day my prince/princess will come!"

Here is how I hear it expressed by many of the singles that I coach:

"One day I just looked across the room, our eyes met, and I just knew he/she was the one!"

Well, maybe yes and maybe no.

Either way, after the glow of the "newness" of the relationship wears off, you still have to learn to live with another person, which is messy at it's best.

I see so many people get hurt this way.

Solution: You just have to take responsibility for your own relationship choice and take an active role in finding a good match for your self. Don't just react to the people that choose you, as in "I'll like this person because they like me." Interview a lot of people for the position of your partner.

Jeff Herring

Jeff is a marriage and family therapist, singles and relationship coach, mentor coach, speaker, syndicated relationship columnist and author.

Jeff has a full time private practice in Tallahassee in which he specializes in couples, teen and parent counseling. He also is a relationship coach specializing in working with couples and singles. Some of his professional activities include:

==> Internationally syndicated relationship columnist through Knight-Ridder/Tribune Media Services, with a weekly readership of over 10 million worldwide

==> Sought after speaker for organizations, associations, churches, and corporations

==>Twice weekly appearances on The Steve and Sara Show on Magic 107.1

==> Author of "Keep the Changes: 52 Tools for Successful Living" a collection of his best columns, as well as several e-books including "How to Create a Passionate and Loving Relationship.........Forever," "How to Beat the BOZOs: Dealing with difficult people without becoming one," and "Tame Your Teen: THE survival guide for parenting your teenager.

==> Founder and CEO of TheArticleGuy.com

==> Founder and CEO of SecretsofGreatRelationships.com

==> Founder and CEO of ParentingYourTeeanger.com

==> Founder and CEO of ToolsforSuccessfulLiving.com

==> President of BuildingYourIdealPractice.com

==> President of ConsciousDatingTallahassee.com