A very useful mindset for me is: push and then correct for any "mistakes". This is a very useful mindset because women, in general, are passive. When they are NOT interested they do nothing. And when they ARE interested they often do nothing as well. Obviously you can't read her mind, and sometimes the signs are not that clear that she wants you to make a move, especially to someone who is inexperienced. So the idea is to make a move, a strong one, and then calibrate for any "mistakes", using humor. This is the opposite of calibrating before making a move, where you are checking and double checking if the signals are right. This can lead to indecision and anxiety, and also is less efficient since you don't know how much or how little she is receptive to. So make a move, find out, and respond accordanly. And in doing so you move forward. For example, I start to gently caress her thigh. She says, "whoa, not so fast!". Then I say something like: - "Hey, you know I'm harmless right?"
- "My hands have a mind of their own...oops there they go again"
- "You didn't think I'd just break out the playing cards did you?"
- "I can't help it, you're soo cute!" This way you downplay the seriousness of the situation and insert playful humor which helps her to relax around you. And this way she also calibrates you, getting used to the idea of you touching her, and making it more likely for her to touch you back, now that she knows you like her. Copyright 2005 Vittorio Norman |
