Well there is only 152 days left until I get married! I should introduce myself, I am Alan and I was what I thought was happily married for 17 years until this past June. Then I wasn't. That quick. Long story and we will get into it as it comes up naturally, no lies and little sugar coating. Life is real. This is reality. Faced with the distinct possibility of being single for the rest of my life,(I am almost 50 and almost 350lbs!) I came face to face with the terrible shock of my baby brother's sudden death! Of natural causes no less! Now at 43 years old you don't expect someone to just keel over no matter how they lived. And he lived! Oh how he lived. That may be a book in itself someday but the shock must have done something to my brain because I woke up saying "I want to survive, no I want to really live!"

Coming to grips with all that had happened last year didn't even begin to prepare me for what would come next. Well in the process of consoling some of my brother's friends, I started writing to a girl that he knew when they were little. You know, same grade school, same high school, that kind of thing. They were pretty close and something sparked between them but my brother was a difficult person even back then and nothing became of it. The girl, Debby, married, had 3 wonderful boys, and was living in the same city that they both grew up in but they still drifted apart, even though Brian was the God-father of Debby's first born, Jason. Well when Debby heard that my brother Brian had died, she was devastated. Part guilt, the rest profound sadness gripped her until she started to talk to her good friend's older brother, who was only trying to console her. That's when it happened. Both of us realized that by talking online we were compatible with each other. Well my father invited Debby to a family picnic because she was so close to Brian and he wouldn't be there and well I picked her up and drove her and drove her home. Well we hit it off and the rest is history. Yeah right. Never happens. The rest is continuing to happen and in the coming months we will grow closer to each other and decide that we will spend the rest of our lives together. Now I'm no Prince Charming and most of Debby's Sleeping Beauty days were spent with someone who never appreciated her, but we love each other and you would be surprised how good we look to each other because of it. Or maybe you wouldn't be surprised. Ever been in love? Really? Well lets see what happens next. Every day like the first and be thankful. That is my mantra for this second time around. We will see if we have learned anything from history, or if we are doomed to repeat it.