Its not hard to guess everyones favorite subject to talk about. Themselves. Its what everyone is an expert in and is most passionate about. However selfish it may seem, listeners interpret being told your everyday activities and achievements as a lot of hot air. It may sting, but its the truth. This is especially true for the one person who sees you day in and day out- your significant other. When is the last time you actually listened to from start to finish- your partners entire synopsis of his or her work day without drifting off in your mind to whats for dinner?, or concentrating on remembering the story you want to tell them? This is a major relationship problem, even though it may not seem like it to the person having to suffer through the never-ending daily report. While listeners may paste a totally engrossed expression on their face, their little to no interest level is completely see-through to the talker. According to authors and psychotherapists Morrie and Arleah Schectman, rattling off a long list of activities when asked about your day is skipping over the important elements of communication in a relationship. And, according to the Schectmans, communication is the heart of intimacy. The key to expressing a high intimacy dialogue, they say, is to tell your partner how todays events made your feel instead of routinely broadcasting the news which can cause even the perkiest of people to slightly doze off. Try this concept once, and maybe you will see an interested spark in your partners eyes instead of the whites of them. |
