Some people seem to have a talent for being agreeable. They are labeled as being friendly persons with wonderful personalities. I, myself, have to concentrate on what is being said and consciously back burner my personal strong beliefs that run counter to the opinions aired. I find it difficult to give the speaker the benefit of the doubt so that I can hear his (or her) opinions to the end without interrupting. I know that in the past I have been known to run off at the mouth with my long winded diatribes. Some of this tendency was caused occasionally by the Benzedrine component in my allergy medication, but not all. Once, to prove a point (to myself) I mimicked the style of the group of radio personalities on the Imus in the Morning Show. Imus himself is a personable raconteur of considerable fame. He sets forth his emphatic opinions, taking the underdog's cause every time. Of course he uses the humor element to tease anyone he deems pretentious or fake in any way, lighting into them unmercifully. But the point of this example is the attitude of his minions. They invariably take up Imus' cause and amplify it with expressions of full support - even exaggerating to the point of ridiculousness. Imus' response to this vocal agreement is to use it to further his cause. His radio comrades are the 'Yes men" of the air, becoming furiously indignant when Imus is slightly annoyed and violently angry when Imus had his feelings hurt. This show of empathy is what binds different people together and what I would like to emulate in order to 'get along' in the world. I did try it on my wife one day. She was suffering from a form of depression where everything takes on a negative aspect. So in order to neutralize these black feelings, I attempted to use the methods I observed on Imus show. It really did work. My wife immediately felt better, sounding more positive in her conversation and appeared far less argumentative. I also felt the positive vibrations in reaction to my vocal support. Since then I have tried to be less obtuse in my daily conversations without undermining my true feelings and to listen better. We all have to get along in this world and there is little room for my unsympathetic attitudes. Now I know one of my resolutions come New Years Day. I might even start now. |
