Stuck on a guy who cheats on you? Lies? Claims he loves you but cant marry you because a) his wife wont divorce him, b) his last relationship ended so painfully it nearly killed him, or c) he cant make a commitment until his kids are in college? Heres how to get unstuck: 1) Understand that you have no control over the situation. You can't make a man love you the way you deserve to be loved, you can't keep him faithful, you cant force him to tell the truth. If hes not willing, forget it. 2) Let go. Don't call a man who causes you pain. Don't go looking for him (in other words, stop picking at the pimple). If Aunt Polly asks what happened to that lovely fellow you brought to Cousin Elmers wedding, tell her he died. 3) Close your heart. Sure, your blood pounds whenever the guy walks into the room, but you can change this. Definitely. Write a list of the things you don't like about him (be honest; there are a couple!). Refer to this list whenever you're tempted to fantasize about him, or worse, contact him. Bring to mind the times he made you feel bad about yourself in 3-dimensional detail. Your goal is to become indifferent. In other words, you want to get to the point where youd rather shop for socks than hang out with the guy. 4) Write a list of all things you have going for you: Sense of humor? Compassion? Resourcefulness? Remember every compliment you've ever gotten. Write them down. Whip em out whenever you start mooning over Whats-His-Name. Know that you're an excellent catch. 5) Take care of yourself. Speak to yourself as you would a beloved child. Wear clothes that honor your body. Eat foods that nourish you. Avoid convenience foods that damage your health and your looks. Buy yourself flowers. The antidote to being stuck on a bad man is to learn to love yourself enough to stop being attracted to him. The bonus? After a while, youll start attracting (and being attracted to!) men who really know how to love a woman. Go for it. |
